As a leader, you play an important role in helping others in a way that does not deprive them of their autonomy and ownership (micromanaging) or let them think about what they should do next (low leading). One area where this tension is often seen is when a direct report asks for help. What is the most effective way to help an employee bridge the gap between goal setting and goal achievement? If someone has a small amount of experience under their belt, your role is to help them consider and design next steps for themselves. In this article, the author offers tips on what to say to help your employee create their own action plan.
Evolution has helped man. We evolved as a species to be “prosocial,” behaving in ways that are positive, helpful, and intended to promote social acceptance, connection, and friendship. Asking, offering, and receiving help helped our long-term survival.
That said, there is a difference between wanting to help someone and knowing what kind of help the person wants or needs. As a leader, you play an important role in helping others in a way that does not deprive them of their autonomy and ownership (micromanaging) or let them think about what they should do next (low leading).
One area where this tension is often seen is when a direct report asks for help. What is the most effective way to offer your support? How can you help them cross the bridge between goal setting and goal achievement?
Telling someone exactly what steps they need to take to cross the bridge can make sense if they’re just starting a new role, a new project, or if there’s just one the right way to do it right. However, if someone has a small amount of experience under their belt, your role is to help them consider and design next steps for themselves. As a result, they are more likely to commit to the plan they make.
This is what micromanaging a plan looks like:
Your direct report: “I need to be more consistent in logging my sales calls, so I have better data for customer follow-up. Can you help me?”
You: “That sounds like a smart idea. I’m happy to help. Here’s what you should do… [insert your own plan here]. You might want to take some notes.”
This approach leaves no room for their own resources, creativity, or ownership.
Conversely, the bottom lead might look like this:
Your direct report: “I need to be more consistent in logging my sales calls, so I have better data for customer follow-up. Can you help me?”
You: “That sounds like a smart idea. I’m happy to help. My door is always open.”
While you may be offering an open-door policy to avoid over-leading, you’re not helping them make the transition from intention to action.
Consider this approach:
Your direct report: “I need to be more consistent in logging my sales calls, so I have better data for follow-up. Can you help me?”
You: “That sounds like a smart idea. I’m happy to help. What do you think will help you be more consistent?”
Notice that you don’t offer YOUR action plan; instead, you create space for them to consider what they need, and what will fit wilderness action plan. In their Harvard Business Review article, “The Power of Options,” Carol Kauffman, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and the founder of the Institute of Coaching, and David Noble, coauthor of Real Time Leadership, suggest that you might want to “lean in” to your partner. This includes empathy, encouragement, and coaching to give them space to think and a chance to feel independent.
That doesn’t mean you can’t offer insights, help them access resources, or resolve when they hit a roadblock. Maybe you should “trust” if your partner is stuck and could benefit from help deciding, or from a direction, or even a challenge. But if you do that because you’re impatient, uncertain, risk-averse, or wishful thinking, you’re likely to undermine their involvement in serving your own needs.
Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Advice Trap, asked managers to reflect on what is more important: “You being right, having the best idea, or giving the person you lead the opportunity to create their own idea, do their own thinking, and gain the own their own understanding?”
If you want your partners to own their plan, they need to take their own next steps – with your support.
In our book, Reach Out for Help: 31 Ways to Offer, Ask for, and Receive HelpSophie Riegel and I share ten questions to ask others to help them figure out their own plan:
- Get specific: “What do you plan to do next?”
- Be positive: “What has worked for you in this process?”
- Purchase: “What’s the opportunity here?”
- Wise: “What else do you need to go on?”
- Be realistic: “What do you have to give up in order to continue this?”
- Collaborate: “Who else do you need to talk to / work with / hang out with?”
- Get mental: “What are you thinking right now?”
- Tracking: “How do you measure progress?”
- Prioritize: “Which step, if done first, will make the other steps easier?”
- Sakay: “What else can I help you with?”
These questions may not be easy or quick to answer for your partner. They may need some time to think about their answers. And, if you understand that they need more of a directive approach – especially if certainty is more important now than commitment or creativity – you can help by answering these questions with them or for them. So, for example, instead of asking someone new to a task, “What else do you need to continue?” (which they may not know yet), your outreach strategy can tell them, “Here’s what else you need to go on…”
An Irish proverb says, “You can’t plow a field by turning it over in your mind.” By helping others reflect on their plan of action, and then supporting them as they move forward with that plan, they can have a clearer, more confident path to achieving their goals.
